well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
