Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
