Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
