the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
