I met the friendliest cop last night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
