Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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