wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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