I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
