wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
