with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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