so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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