And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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