I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
