if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
