If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
