but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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