She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize