Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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