everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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