what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
