I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
