..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize