You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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