Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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