you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
