HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
