Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
