put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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