I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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