Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
