i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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