so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
