I didn't shave. On purpose
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
please come you make the beer taste better
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
