My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
