Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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