when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize