Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
