Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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