thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
