i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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