It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
