Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
