you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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