didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
