Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We have started to decorate penises.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
