fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize