dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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