Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
