after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
