Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize