we have officially lost it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
