he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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