You can't motorboat a personality
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize