is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
two words: eviction party
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize