Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
