i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
