can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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