you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
