dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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