Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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