I'm gonna have a badass scar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
