i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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