I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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