normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
